


~ A Court of Song and Sorrow~

by QueenPeen



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, MAAS Sarah J. - Works
Genre: A Court of Spring and Longing, A Court of Thorns and Roses - Freeform, All Aboard, Betrayal, Come and get your feels, Faeries - Freeform, Fanfic, Feels, Heartbreak, High Fae, Human, Humans, I just want to make you all cry, Love, Mating, Mating Bond, Multi, OC's - Freeform, Original Character(s), Pain, Prythian, Sadness, Starfall, Tamlin - Freeform, Welcome to the feels train, Who trusted me with an Ao3 account?, a court of mist and fury, a court of wings and ruin - Freeform, celebrating, trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-30 18:37:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10882620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPeen/pseuds/QueenPeen
Summary: A fanfic that takes place after the events of ACoWaR, focusing on Tamlin as he comes around to the new world and his place in it. As he decides what kind of man he wants to be... and meets his mate.





	1. An Unexpected Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a fanfiction of any length, if you have read my other stuff you will know I usually focus on short scenes, what a character feels in one particular moment. But I have had this idea in my head and it won't leave me alone! So I was forced to write it down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tamlin's PoV

The invitation had sat on Tamlin's desk for a few days now, and each time he looked at it his mixed feelings only grew. Why had they invited him of all people to a ball in Velaris? Of course, now the wall was down everyone was throwing parties. In every court in Prythian there was a party going on. Well, all except the Spring Court. Tamlin had heard about the Starfall party before he had received his invitation, he honestly hadn't been expecting one. But on his desk, with beautiful gold embossed letters was an invitation... from the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court. When he had first read those words he had sneered, did they mock him? Did they mean to rub their happiness in his miserable face? He had considered burning the letter and cursing their names into the wind. But he hadn't. He had never been to Velaris, let alone even in the Night Court for Starfall...

The entire Country was celebrating, humans and Fae alike all coming together. New treaties and partnerships were being formed. It seemed like the dawning of a new age. And so far, the Spring Court had been noticeably absent from the talks. This would be the first Starfall since the wall came down, something Fae would remember for centuries, millennia even. He should go even if he didn't want too, for his people if nothing else. Maybe getting out would cheer him up too? He had been practically alone with his own thoughts since Hybern had been defeated and they had all gone their separate ways. He had only spoke to Lucien the once, and his old friend hadn't been welcoming, Tamlin had expected as much. They had all left him one, by one. Feyre, Alis, Lucien... all running from him. The few servants he had now were new and not even the other Spring Lords visited anymore. It was like everyone had decided to leave Tamlin to himself, were they scared? Did everyone now know all the awful things he'd done? Did they all judge him for it? Did his people hate him? Tamlin's throat tightened as he weighed the invitation in his hand.

If he didn't go he'd be sending a message to everyone, and even if he did go he would still be sending a message. Which was the better one? Should he hide in shame or try and get on with the rest of his awfully long life. Truth be told... he had not expected to survive the final battle. There were definitely many who wished he hadn't.

He was sure all the other High Lords would turn up to such an event, Starfall in Velaris... maybe Beron wouldn't go. But Tamlin didn't want to be associated with Beron at all, not with what that monster had done to his friend... well... now his former friend. Tamlin sighed and rooted through his drawer for some paper, a pen and some ink. Lucien had been his emissary, he had dealt with all these things. Social engagements... Tamlin was honestly useless. He hadn't realised just how much he had come to rely on all those around him.

  
You didn't miss what you had till it was gone. And Tamlin missed Lucien for more than just the help he had given to run the court. He had called him friend. Though it was still far too soon for Tamlin to try and reach out to him, he didn't even know what he would say. Tamlin had done so many wrongs he doubted the word 'sorry' would still apply, even if he did say it he wasn't sure anybody would listen. Here comes the monster of Spring telling lies…

Maybe the best thing he could do was to turn up to this party, and just try and be himself? Well not too much like himself, even Tamlin didn't like himself much these days. For once he was in total agreement with everyone else. He just had to go and pretend all was well within the Spring lands, pretend they were picking themselves up after the war. That might have been true for Tamlin's people, they were doing well, they were healing. But was their High Lord? He snorted to himself as that thought passed through his mind. It had been a long time since he had felt so low.

He found his pen and paper under a sketch in his drawer, one he hadn’t known he still kept. It was a beautiful drawing of a rose. Done by Feyre. He had been planning on giving her a mating gift that would have rivalled the rose garden that his Father had gifted to his Mother. He had been so sure that the two of them would have been mates, he had loved her so fiercely he had been sure she had to have been his mate. But he knew differently know, even if he had loved her properly she would have never been his mate. Feyre preferred stars to roses, and no matter how hard Tamlin tried he would have never been able to give them to her. But Rhysand could, and in a few short weeks the stars themselves would fall from the sky and scatter themselves at Feyre’s feet, the High Lady of the Night Court. She deserved no less…

Tamlin penned a short note, one detailing that he would attend and would probably bring a few of the dwindling members of his court who deigned to come with him. He knew that some of the lesser Lords would jump at the chance to leave the misery drenched Spring court. Since Velaris had been revealed to the rest of the world everyone had wanted to go. He had heard that it was beautiful, and that it would be at its most magnificent during Starfall, when every street was ablaze with cheer and merriment.

Once he had finished the note and folded it, Tamlin added his wax seal to it. Then he ran a shaky hand through his hair. When had he become so afraid of his every action? Most people were not cursed with knowing their own reputations, but Tamlin knew his. It was not one he liked, it was almost like he and Rhysand had switched places overnight. Pariah to saviour, saviour to pariah. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to fix the many wrongs he had committed. He had asked Feyre to be happy when they’d last spoke, when he had given a part of his life to save her mate. To bring him back from whatever abyss waited for them in the after. Maybe she had begun to forgive him? Or maybe she simply hated him more than ever and blamed him for her Rhysand’s death in the first place.

How many had died because of Tamlin’s need to have Feyre home and safe, his. He hadn’t even dared look at the ledger of losses from his own court, let alone think about how many in the other courts had died, because Tamlin had sold them all out for a love that was never his to have.


	2. Second Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tamlin has a few reservations about the coming ball...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tamlin's PoV

It was the day before Tamlin had to winnow to the Night Court, and he was having some severe reservations about it. Rumours were flying around about who would be in attendance and it seemed that everyone had been shocked when Tamlin had announced that he would be going. What if they had sent the invitation to be polite, and they hadn’t actually wanted him to come? He was surprised that there wasn’t more anonymity surrounding it. He wasn’t on good terms with any of the High Lords at the minute, so much so he expected a blood ruby to arrive from Tarquin any day now…

They all hated him, and he couldn’t blame them. So he paced up and down the lonely halls of his almost abandoned manor. He had opened up the old art gallery for Feyre, and now all the statues and paintings were gathering dust once more. He didn’t even take his meals in the dining hall anymore, instead he just had them in his room. He was less of a bother for everyone when he kept himself to his room. He supposed he couldn’t almost end Faerie civilisation when he was alone in his chambers.  
Thoughts of what he had almost caused weighed heavily on him. He hadn’t believed Hybern would come so close… how naïve Tam had been. He could add naïve to his every growing list of negative personality traits. He was sure he had more bad than good ones, he certainly had no redeemable qualities and everyone was probably wondering why he had the gall and tenacity to remain breathing, while countless better men were dead. 

Tamlin had never been more worried for a ball in his entire life, he was sure all eyes would be upon him, watching him. Waiting for him to slip or do something wrong. Some of the lesser Lords had been skulking around his manor, likely just trying to glean some information. Try and figure out if he had any ulterior motives for going. Everyone seemed to think the worst of him. Tamlin was even second guessing himself most of the time now.

Why had he thought attending this ball was a good idea? It was being thrown to herald in what was to be an amazing and bright future. Tamlin should have remained in the past, along with all the other things that were unworthy of basking in the light of other people’s triumph. 

Sure he had fought in the las battle, he had fought hard. But there was only a need for battle because of him. 

He paced and he paced and he paced, until his feet led him outside into his gardens. The idea had been that some fresh air might clear his head, but his head was honestly such a mess. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face them all again. Face the High Lords, face Lucien… face Feyre. And they’d all be there, they would all be happy. Getting on with their lives and rebuilding. And then there would be Tamlin, High Lord of Betrayal, representing the cause of everything that had hurt them

It was all less than twenty-four hours away, and the time was slipping by far quicker than Tamlin liked. He’d barely even managed to eat this last week. To worried… when he looked at himself in the mirror he was just reminded of how tired and gaunt Feyre had looked before Rhysand had rescued her from him. How had he not seen her suffering sooner, he who had promised to love all of her, had ignored the bits of her that needed loving the most. 

But she had it all now, everything he hadn’t been able to give to her. Why couldn’t he forget her? Was this guilt or did he still love her? If he did still love her then he really needed to get a grip and wake up. She was married, a High Lady. Most importantly she was happy…

Truthfully, he didn’t think he loved her, he just missed having someone to love… and even when she had only been pretending to love him it had been better than having to spend too much time alone in his own head. Now all he seemed to do was spend time alone in his own head, moping around his gardens with his hands shoved in his pockets, much as he was now. He stopped walking once he reached a low wall he could sit down on. From here he could look out over all the rolling hills and fields of spring. It was no small miracle that they remained his, he had been waiting for the angry mob of Fae and Faeries alike brandishing pitchforks. But his court had remained peaceful even if some areas were still recovering from Hybern trampling through it. His scouts hadn’t reported any awful creatures in the surrounding forests and woods. Maybe it was a sign of better things on the horizon for Prythian?

Tamlin was still deeply worried about the lack of a wall, he wasn’t worried about the humans coming through and killing Fae, he was worried about what the Fae would do to the humans. Hearing what Hybern’s niece had nephew had done told him all he needed to know about the way some Fae still viewed humans. Not all Fae had found a human and fell in love with them though… Tamlin had. 

He held his head in his hands when he thought of those days, when he’d first brought Feyre here, when their only worry had been Amarantha, he would have despaired if he’d have known that Hybern was coming next. Most of his good memories from the last few years had Feyre right in the middle of them. The last time he’d had the heart to play his violin was when Feyre had danced for him, so happy and carefree. He would relive that moment over, and over again if he would ever be allowed. He couldn’t bring himself to play his fiddle now though, much like when they had come back from facing Amarantha and Feyre hadn’t been able to paint. 

You needed a happy and vibrant soul to make music, to make any art. Not one that was slowly crumbling under the weight of watching everyone else’s happiness around you. It was jealousy, pure and simple. Tamin was jealous of Rhysand. Every aspect of his life Tamlin wanted, craved. But mainly it was the love, the happiness.  


And come tomorrow Tamlin would have to look right into that smug face, and fight the urge to sink his fists into it.


	3. The City of Starlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tamlin explores Velaris a little. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I needed some kind of middle between what happened before, and what will happen next. I know Tamlin is very lost in his own mind at the moment, but I promise that will change when some more characters come out to play. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tamlin's PoV

Velaris hadn't been at all what Tamlin had expected. When he had readied himself to winnow that morning his stomach had been in knots, he was the last one to leave... obviously. Most of the other Spring nobility had gone off in their fancy carriages a few days before. But his ability to winnow meant that he could stay at his manor on mope for a little bit before he eventually decided to go. He had no idea what his reception would be, would there be crowds? And would they all know which of the High Lords was to blame for their misfortune.

His reception upon arriving was thankfully normal, he had been treated with kindness. Something he wasn't sure he deserved but it was nice non the less. Better than the alternative anyway. He was given very lovey rooms in some grand house or the other. It was his understanding that all the High Lords had been separated so nobody got murdered too early on in the celebrations. But Tamlin had to wonder if everyone just wanted to be away from him? The traitor that was somehow still in the fold. Starfall wasn't for another two days but Rhysand's silver city was already filled with people, and much to Tamlin's surprise they all seemed happy. Carefree, children running around in the streets... people just living. Not struggling, not merely surviving... actually living. He watched the city from his balcony for a while, watched them prepare for the festival. Hanging banners and streamers, wrapping flowers around the high arches and columns. They had done this every year, for the last fifty years when most of Prythian had been trapped under Amarantha's claws. She had slowly leeched the life and culture from most places. But Velaris had remained free...

At first Tamlin stayed in his rooms and seethed, claws sticking out from his hands... but he had to control that particular side of him, he had too. But how was it that Rhys had managed to save this place when every other court had suffered? Tamlin's lands had been haunted by all manner of dark creatures. Every court had! Though winter had come off the worst, their little Faelings murdered, their minds crushed and their lives ended before they had even truly begun. And yet Rhysand's home, his people had been hidden here. Had he not had time to take in refugees? The children from other courts at least? Rhysand himself had terrorised the other courts, showing up every now and then acting as Amarantha's puppet... he'd never forget the Faerie who had died on his table, wings torn from his back... he had always presumed that to have been Rhysand'd handiwork, but now he wasn't so sure. 

Tamlin was probably just trying to make himself feel better for all his faults and failings, by trying to identify faults in others. And Rhysand was just so very easy for him to hate. But it didn't really help Tamlin feel better about himself at all, nothing did. He couldn't even drink himself into a better mood now, all he could drink himself into now was an even sourer mood. Something he did all to regularly.

So he had tried to go to bed early, the cauldron knew he would need all the sleep he could get if he was too force smiles. He didn't feel like smiling, he wasn't feeling much of anything really. And he definitely wasn't feeling like himself. If he had to describe this particular lack of feeling he would have used the words hollow, empty... like he was longing for something he was missing. It ached and it was always there, in the back of his head, deep in his chest. 

Tamlin had stared at the plush canopy of the four poster bed for a few hours before he finally gave upon on any notion of rest. Darkness had fallen while he'd been trying to sleep. But it wasn't like a cool spring night at all. He rose from the bed and stood on the balcony and was met by the gaze of a million, million stars. All twinkling, it was beautiful. But beauty was something Tamlin could no longer upon without feeling that ache in him. What did he have in his life that could be considered beautiful? He didn't have an escape when he'd had a rough day. And there were more rough days in his court than there had been good ones recently. The meetings were all about strife and cost. Spring was being pushed to it's limits, and no help came for his court. Why should it? When spring had brought all this upon itself? If his court collapsed again he was inclined to just let it crumble. He had never wanted to be High Lord, he had though he was safe. The youngest son... but now he was all that was left. And Spring was a burden he now carried alone. Not even Lucien's encouragement and help. Not even the loyalty of a friend... 

Maybe a walk would help clear his head? He could get away from his own simpering nobility for a while before he had to deal with the simpering nobility from the other courts. Maybe he would find something else he could hate too? Find another little imperfection that would make him feel better. So he didn't feel like the only one stained. Tamlin dressed himself in a pair of plain black trousers and pulled a loose white shirt over the broad muscles of his chest. Then he slipped form his room and left the place he'd been shoved into. It was lovely for sure, decorated almost perfectly. But he couldn't help feeling like he was an unwanted little bug in this place. Maybe Rhysand was furious that he'd even had to invite Tamlin, but inviting all the other High Lords and leaving Tamlin out would have sent one hell of a message... not that Spring could have done much about such a slight. His armies were decimated and many of his alliances had completely collapsed. If an attacking force came to the lands of spring they would likely find Tamlin standing alone in a field. He snorted at that thought as he walked out into the city, met by a cool gentle wind that ruffled through blonde his hair. 

Tamlin stuffed his hands in his trouser pockets and picked a direction and just walked. Velaris seemed to just be open before him, everywhere he turned there was something else. And much to his surprise there were still plenty of people out. There were bars and restaurants normal things. But here in Velaris it just seemed to fit. Every nice thing he saw just made him want to hate it all the more. How had something so nice survived? When Spring's fields of gold and green had burned. He wanted to believe that Spring was just as beautiful and worthy of saving as this place. But no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't hate this place. How could he hate the magnificent gardens? Dotted with fine statues. How could he hate the galleries hung with art? He had heard of the Rainbow of Velaris, but he hadn't expected it to be so wonderful. It was no surprise to him now that Feyre had much preferred living here. She had always loved her art and this place must have seemed like a dream to her.

He wandered for what felt like minutes, but he had watched the moon track it's way across the sky and knew he had been wandering for hours. Tam had walked along the shimmering Sidra river and along the base of the surrounding mountains. But then he was drawn back into the city proper. He wasn't looking where he was going at all and almost bumped into a woman. Shorter than he was with a curtain of shimmering silver hair.

"I'm sorry..." He said, trying to look away from her, the last thing he wanted was to be recognised for who he was.  
"You're alright, have a good night." Came her simple cheery reply and she smiled at him then just carried on. Tamlin stared after he as she walked. He so rarely wandered to places people didn't know who he was, it was refreshing. She hadn't stared in anger, she hadn't stared in fear. She'd smiled at him, as if he were just another Fae. All the High Lords were gathered in this city, and that woman had held no fear at all, he would have smelled it on her otherwise. Was this city so safe? Did Rhysand keep them that safe they had nothing to fear? 

Somewhere in his black heart Tamlin felt a small pang of something akin to respect for Rhysand, though he'd never admit to anyone but himself. For the man who had trained him to be a warrior... Tam had looked up to him once. Much the same way he had looked up to his brothers, his father. If only Tam had of realised how his father planned on using their friendship... Things could have ended a lot differently for them. Yet another regret he had, one that had cost them both their families. 

That woman's smile accompanied him all the way back to the house he was staying in. He couldn't remember the last time someone had flashed a genuine smile his way. The last year had been so dreadful that all it took was a mere smile to break him almost in half.


	4. Winter's Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tamlin's PoV

Tamlin had wandered the city a lot of the next day, his last day before Starlight. Surprisingly he hadn’t see much of the other Lords, not that he would have been invited to any of the little social gatherings. He had only been invited to the main event because if would have looked rather odd to leave him out. He had tracked down Lucien and shared a few words with him, but there wasn’t any of the easy joking they had once shared. None of the warmth from his friend. He had hoped that Lucien would have remembered that Tamlin had some good in him, how he had taken Lucien in after his father had killed his lover. But it seemed that Tamlin’s bad outweighed his good.

He had asked if Lucien cared to share a drink with him in one of the little bars that were dotted around Velaris, but Lucien had obviously wanted to be with anyone but Tam right then. He had made his polite excuses and Tamlin had pretended that he didn’t truly know why Lucien had refused. Maybe one day he would be able to repair something between him and Lucien?

Tamlin had hoped that Lucien would have come back to spring with him, Hybern now dead… he had hoped things would settle. That at least some things would return to normal. But no… over the course of a year his entire world had been flipped on its head. And he was the last person to notice. Everyone else had found their places in this new world and Tamlin was still half stuck in the past. Everyone had new friends, new alliances… new found hope. And then there was Tamlin still desperately trying to cling onto the old ones.

But he knew how things went when you tried to hold onto them too tightly. Feyre had been a lesson he wouldn’t soon forget. So Tamlin had just let Lucien on his way, he had seemed a little shocked that Tam hadn’t pushed him for more reasons. The Tamlin of before would have indeed been more forceful… now he was just defeated. He had never been beaten down so thoroughly. For once he couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry. His claws stayed inside his skin. He had spent so long being angry at the glaring truth before him, if only he had let go of it sooner.

After his meeting with Lucien Tamlin decided to hide away from everyone else for a little longer, he chose to eat his dinner alone in a small restaurant, it was close to the riverside and offered him a distraction. Though part of the problem was that Tamlin spent so much of his free time alone now, so all he had was his own mind to keep him company, and it wasn’t a pleasant place currently.  
He looked up from his plate when he heard the door creak, and in walked the woman from the night before. He would know the shape of her mouth anywhere after that small smile. Her hair seemed whiter in the daylight. But it curled in delicate swirls down her back, complementing the paleness of her skin. He had no doubt that she had travelled here from winter, probably just for the Starfall celebrations as he had.

Tamlin watched her from the corner of his eye, waiting to see that little smile that had cheered him up more than anything had in the last few months. She turned to face him almost as if she knew she was being watched. Tam almost choked on his food when she shot him that smile, a most unusual blush spreading up his cheeks. Thankfully she found the exchange most amusing and her light laughter filled the room. “Dining alone?” She asked brightly, and when Tam nodded she took a seat at the other side of his table. “Can’t let that happen can we?” Tamlin was honestly stunned into silence, so the poor thing had to provide yet more conversation. “I’ve never left Winter before.” She said, confirming Tamlin’s suspicions. “All this new food is delicious though, I’ve asked the waitress to just surprise me. There hasn’t been anything I haven’t liked yet.” Tamlin would have replied to her, but he was fascinated by the curve of her mouth, how the corners peaked up as she spoke, little bits of her canines visible.

“The food is wonderful.” He agreed, once he had swallowed and recovered some of his senses. She was a winter beauty that was for sure, skin as pale as snow and hair to match. Her eyes were like pale blue gems, but it was her smile that mesmerised him. She’d painted her lips a deep red that made them stand out even more with how pale the rest of her was. She wore a simple black dress, again at odds with her milky white skin.

“All we really have in winter is food that keeps you warm.” She rolled her eyes and smiled, she had to have been completely oblivious to who she was speaking to. “Even the puddings we have are warm. But this…” She gestured to a plate of food that the waitress set before her, with her slender fingers, tipped with black painted nails. “This focuses on flavour as opposed to warmth.” She grinned at Tamlin again as she daintily picked up her fork. She was definitely noble, was she related to the Winter Lords and ladies who had come for Starfall? The way she held herself was noble, her porcelain shoulders were straight and proud. Right down to her delicate accent. She wasn’t just any Fae, just like he wasn’t any Fae. Maybe they were both in this quiet restaurant, hiding from their duties.

  
“I can’t say I have eaten much Winter food, I visited once as a child” Tamlin said. “But it was dreadfully cold.” Tamlin couldn’t help but smile back at her, it was like you had to smile in her presence.

  
“Sometimes it’s unreasonably cold, most people love it.” She exclaimed, almost as If she didn’t understand how. “But I much prefer weather that doesn’t require you to wear seven layers of clothes. You almost wish the cauldron would actually boil you…” She laughed again, a soft gentle thing. “I have a friend who lives in summer and I visited her once, I got dreadful sunburn… I looked like a tomato. So, you see… I hate the cold, but I also hate to be to too warm.”

“Sounds like you need to visit spring then?” The words were out of his mouth before he could even stop them, but spring had the perfect in between climate. It rained and stormed on occasion, but only when Tamlin was especially sad or angry. The power that kept it forever spring was also tied directly to him. But he felt that If such a beautiful thing was within the walls of his Court, he could keep the weather perfect.

“I have never been to spring, I think I would like that.” She looked directly into his eyes, as if for the first time noticing that they were green. “I should have guessed that was where you were from though. You never do see eyes as green as those with spring blood in their veins.” She lifted her glass to her lips and sipped the water, her eyes were so full of mischief that it made Tamlin want to squirm. He was unused to someone being so nice to him. She couldn’t know at all who he was, because if she did then she would have been putting as much distance between her and him as she possibly could.

Was she flirting with him? That twinkle in her eyes… the smile. Oh, by the mother that smile. “And I have never seen eyes as blue as yours.” They were exquisite. So bright, much like the rest of her. He almost felt a tang of guilt… flirting like this. But he tried to push Feyre from his mind. She was married and happy…

He watched a tiny blush creep up the winter beauties ears after his compliment, one that turned his smile into a fully-fledged grin. He had been so miserable before, it was amazing what this woman had achieved with one smile.

Tamlin ate the rest of his dinner rather happily, chatting with this woman about all manner of things. She had never seen a Starfall in the Night Court either. And she too had been as shocked as anyone when it had been revealed that Night was not the dark and twisted place they had all believed. He found out startlingly little about her, they seemed to talk about everything but themselves, which suited Tamlin just fine. But eventually she had cleared her plate and he his.

“I really should be going before I am missed too much…” She said, placing her glass down. “I do hope to see you again… maybe at the festival?” She rose up before Tamlin could stand too, but when he did she blushed again. He was a Lord, and it was polite to stand for a Lady. He knew she was, her poise was beyond perfect. He watched her walk to the door, the skirts of her dress swishing across the floor behind her in a soft whisper of fabric. She stopped at the door and looked back over her shoulder, sending her hair spilling around her in a cascade of shimmering white. “Do you have a name?” She asked Tamlin.

“No, I don’t have one of those.” Tamlin smiled, showing his teeth. He couldn’t well tell her who he was, he didn’t ever want to tell her who he was. She was probably the only person in the world who wasn’t judging him on his past mistakes and he wanted to keep it that way. He just had to hope he’d run into her again.

“I don’t have one either.” She quipped, winking at Tam before she swept gracefully out of the door, he could hear her laughter as the door swung shut. Tamlin couldn’t help but laugh too then, as he sat back down at the table. The sound of his own rumbling laughter was a foreign thing to him, it had been so long since he’d heard it.


	5. Winter's Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tamlin is a little bewildered... happens to the poor spring roll all the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tamlin's PoV

“I heard he tried to kill her?”

“Really? Well I heard she was the one that tried to kill him?”

“No… one of his old guards swore blind that he beat her so badly she ran away.”

The room had gone quiet as soon as Tamlin walked in, but he knew much of what the conversation was revolving around. Him being in the Night Court was practically all anybody wanted to talk about, and he had been lucky to have found one day’s peace before the gossips picked up on it.

He brushed past two Fae who had been talking about him quite animatedly, the look of horror on their faces as he walked past was almost worth it. But he paid them no heed, tried to ignore it. Even though he could feel his claws beneath his skin. He made his way across to the table filled with drink and poured himself one, if he was to get through tonight he was going to need a drink.

Tamlin could feel them staring at him, he knew they all looked and whispered. The conversation in the room had been quiet since he’d walked in, leaving him with no doubt about what everyone had been talking about before he had entered. He’d woken up in a pleasanter mood than morning, no doubt something to do with that little smile he had been given the day before. He kept it as a little secret in his mind. That was his smile, she’d given it to him and he wanted to keep it. It was honestly all that was getting him through this. If he’d shredded anyone he would have surely been banned from the party, and it was his best chance of seeing her again. But so far he hadn’t even caught a glimpse of her. It was however early on… maybe he would find her still. 

“We had bets that you wouldn’t be turning up.” Tamlin turned around to see none other than Rhysand staring at him, that sly lopsided grin on his face.

“Well your invitations were so pretty, how could I refuse.” Tamlin had to stop himself from growling his words, but almost everyone in the room had stopped what they were doing to listen to the exchange. Rhysand just chuckled, standing there with his hands stuffed in his pockets, carefree arrogance. Wearing black as usual. An opposite to what Tamlin had chosen to wear. Tam wore an emerald green tunic, with gold brocade down the buttons and on the cuffs.

“Lucian was betting that you’d come, Feyre on the other hand didn’t think you’d have the balls for it.”  Rhysand spoke as if he were giving a complement, his words laced with that easy air of boredom he had perfected. There wasn’t a person in all of Prythian that could match how insufferable Rhysand was.

“Is that so…” Was all Tam said, he didn’t want to be goaded, and Rhysand could usually goad him so easily. He wasn’t even sure why Rhys had decided to speak to him. Maybe just to see if it was safe having Tamlin here, just to make sure he wasn’t going to fly off the handle at the smallest negative remark thrown at him.

The old Tamlin would have done, but this new Tamlin, had lost far too much to be thrown by simple words, so instead he just shrugged. He had heard worse about himself so far today. Though he was holding onto his glass rather tightly, it was using up all his self-control to not smash it in Rhys’ face. “If that’s all you have to say, then there really are other things I should be doing.” Tam had lied and they both knew it, but he began walking away all the same.

“Enjoy my City Tamlin.” Rhys crooned, and Tam had to fight the urge to not flip him off.

He carefully pushed past another group of people as he made his way outside, he heard one shocked gasp but didn’t even look to who it had come from. It seemed that pretty much everyone here knew who he was. Maybe he shouldn’t have worn green? He had only worn it in case he saw that woman again… she had liked his eyes, and this was his only set of clothes that made his eyes stand out. Vain yes, but she was currently the only person in the land who had given him a genuine compliment. The only people he had spoken to today had been nice to him simply out of the fear that if they weren’t, he’d turn into some beast and paint the walls with them.

His mood had just worsened since his interaction with Rhysand, by the time he was lent against the balcony he probably had a face like a thunderstorm.   


“Just ignore him, he’s grateful really… we both are.” Came a voice that Tamlin was never likely to forget. He lent against the balcony and turned to look at her. Dressed head to toe in black…

“Don’t you look every Inch the High Lady of Night?” Tam said, raising a blonde eyebrow. Feyre was as always, beautiful. Annoyingly so. Even more so now she wasn’t his to hold… and love. Or to crush and destroy… depending on who’s rumours you listened too. “There are a few people in there that don’t seem to have got the memo that I actually didn’t beat you to a pulp. Funny that…” Tam murmured, sipping his drink. If Rhys could be an ass so could he.

Feyre just rolled her eyes and flipped her hair behind her back, she was likely in no mood for games either. It couldn’t have been easy keeping track of the High Lords currently in Velaris, though rumour had it that Helion could always be found in a bedroom somewhere… not necessarily just with one partner either. “I’m sorry about that.” She snapped, “I’m sure they’ll find something new to gossip about eventually.”

Tam almost snorted his drink. “You clearly don’t know Fae, they’ll be talking about it for the nest five centuries.” He muttered darkly.

“You’ll just have to give them something else to talk about, then won’t you?” Feyre said, before stalking past him, right into the room Rhys was in.

Tamlin didn’t think he was in the mood for anymore scandal. He honestly couldn’t bear to think about what would become courtly gossip next. All he could hope for was that one of the other High Lords fucked something up spectacularly and everyone would just forget about the useless Spring Lord, at least for a little while anyway. But wouldn’t it be nice if one day they discussed something nice about him behind his back? If he did something that he didn’t feel ashamed about?

This was likely going to feel like the longest night of Tamlin’s life. He drained his drink and set it on a nearby table before he decided he would wander around some more and try and find the woman his smile now belonged too. Seeing Feyre again hadn’t hurt him as much as he’d honestly expected, any love had evaporated to leave a sour taste in his mouth. He’d never been so publicly humiliated before, and it was likely Rhysand’s favourite story to tell anyone who would listen.  

He walked down a few corridors, following the sound of music. He had always been draw to it, even when he’d been little he’d always loved it. His mother had told him once that he could sing before he could talk, and that when she hummed to him he’d always do his best to try and hum it back to her. Even if he never got it quite right. What would his mother think of the man he had become though? If there was an afterlife he thought she’d be thoroughly ashamed of him.

He walked straight into the room the music was coming from just as the band stopped playing and started preparing for the next song. It was a lavish ballroom, and even though the last song had stopped people had already partnered up and were ready to start dancing again. Tamlin could dance but it had never really been his thing, he much preferred to be the one playing the music. He could play any tune he wanted on his fiddle, but he just hadn’t had the heart for it in a long time. Not since under the mountain. He was about to look for another drink when something walking onto the stage caught his eye… and if he’d  had a drink in his hand he would have dropped it immediately.

The winter woman from the night before had walked out onto the stage, wearing the most captivating pale blue gown he had ever seen. Instead of curling down her back, her hair had been pinned up and little flowers adorned her head in a sort of crown. Tamlin wasn’t sure he could breathe. But how he felt then was nothing compared to when the band picked up playing… and his Winter smile started to sing.

She sung an old song, one of Tamlin’s favourites. She sung it perfectly, the notes rising and falling. The song was about a Fae who had gone off to war, only to find his mate on the battlefield and she was fighting for the opposite side. It was a song of great love and great pain. A tale of how they had tried and tried to keep their budding romance a secret, but how they had been ultimately found…

The people dancing had move into a slower dance, one more befitting such a sad song. But Tamlin was by far more focused on the woman who was singing it. Her voice almost tugged at him, and he wanted nothing more than to sing along with her, but he could never match anything so beautiful… he hadn’t even realised his eyes had filled with tears until one rolled down his cheek. He had never heard singing like it. Her voice wasn’t at odds with the music, so many singers tried to be louder than it, tried to out compete the instruments. But not this woman, she knew how to weave her voice around it seamlessly, to sing sharply and yet softly. Tamlin was bewitched by her.

When she finished her song, with the devastating ultimate execution of the two mates. He was the one who clapped the loudest before he rushed forward, through the throng of people. He had to find her before she vanished. Before she was lost to him again, he just simply had to tell her that she had the most astounding voice he’d ever heard. She had put so much emotion into that song, she had sung that ballad as it had meant to be sung. Someone who could sing so well surely had to have the most beautiful soul to accompany it. But that particular song... to sing that one well you had to have known hurt too, how else could you throw such emotion into it.

Once he’d reached the front he looked this way and that, but she had vanished completely. The band was starting up a new song and she was nowhere to be seen. He darted out a back door that led into one of Rhysand’s gardens but he still couldn’t find her. Where could she have possibly gone? Tamlin had to find her, why he did not know but it was imperative.

So he searched.


	6. Aiofe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tamlin's winter smile flees...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aiofe's PoV We're switching it up a little :D

 

Aiofe had seen him watching her while she sang, such a curious thing that he had recognised her from the night before. She could tell by the way he looked at her. His strong jaw slacked and his arms limp at his sides. She would have frozen at the sight of him too, but the way he had stared... she just had to sing for him. She still wasn't sure who he was, but with the finery he wore he had to be a Spring noble? She could still smell his scent thick in her nose. Roses and something a little darker, something hiding. Something intriguing.

She closed her eyes as she sang, trying to think of the pianoforte or the violin. Anything but his eyes, but by the cauldron she could fall in them. Drown herself in a sea of refreshing green. Where she came from the only green was the evergreen trees, and even they were always covered by a thick blanket of snow. Everything was ice and snow. Everything was cold, frozen. The same as what it had been for so long. But that man had eyes that reminded her of fresh new shoots poking through the ice. He was something new, and new wasn't always good. 

So Aiofe just sang, sang till she feared her heart would burst for the emotion and power she put into it. Thankfully once she had done the crowd of dancers swarmed the floor and she could escape before the green-eyed male found her. She slipped out the back and into the cool garden. Blooming with moon-flowers and roses. Even in the night they sparkled. She grabbed her skirts in her hands so she could run faster. She wanted to speak to him sure. But around so many people... with some knowing who she was? It was far too risky, there were so many people from the other courts here tonight. And a large delegation from winter. Rhysand had gone to great pains to hide her here, and she had begged him for one song only. And then she promised to vanish again, she'd had her song. She would be repaying her host poorly if she didn't obey the only thing he asked of her. 

She truly couldn't risk being caught and sent back to her Husband, if you could really call him that. Captor, tormentor. She had always been a dreamer... one who wanted the truest form of love. But her father had sold his little girl to the highest bidder. But then she'd ran, ran as far as her feet could carry her. She had been used to winter, used to being able to see the sky and feel the chilly wind on her skin, but her father had forced her underground, under a mountain no less. 

Aiofe darted behind the large water fountain and carried on down a small cobbled path before she kicked her shoes into a bush so she could run faster, her skirts lifted above her knees. She couldn't help her grin, it was a different kind of chase. She knew he would follow and a part of her wanted him to find her. But not where there were people. The illicit nature of it was rather delicious. He was a male and he knew her scent, he would come. She was sure of it.

But should he find her? No... probably not. He wasn't the first man to give chase and Aiofe would never be caged again. No matter how divine her captor was, she needed to run. If only she could fly... She didn't think she'd ever land. Her head had always been in the clouds but the mother hadn't seen fit to give her wings. If Aiofe could have had anything in the entire world it would have been wings. But her father would have only clipped them. Something she doubted she could have lived with.

Rhys had given her back her freedom to an extent, but at parties like this she couldn't be seen too much. She had honestly loved the last fifty years, Velaris shut off from the rest of the world with the freedom to do as she wished. But now she had to be more careful. Anyone from anywhere could be here. Her family from the Court of Winter, or the Family of her Husband, from the court of Nightmares. And she would rather die than go back there...

So Aiofe carried on running, she jumped over a rose bush and scraped her legs on the thorns, but she'd heal fast anyway. She’s always loved Roses, beautiful… but you had to be very careful how you handled them. Because they had thorns. She liked to think she was a Rose, if only that she had a thorny side too. Her cuts likely didn’t matter too much anyway, she just had to get to her little townhouse by the river. It wasn't too far if she ran straight through Rhys' gardens, right down the middle of the Rainbow of Velaris and down to the Sidra. 

The cobbles were harder on her feet than on the grass, but it was better this than under the mountain. A true Court of Nightmares, especially for those who dreamed. One day she just couldn't bear the crushing weight of it anymore, and when Rhys had come to visit she had thrown herself upon the steps before his Throne and begged he took her away. His cruelty before the crowds had been little more than an act. But her husband believed that Rhys had taken her for his own little pet. And nobody would question their High Lord. Since then rumours had been fed down into the belly of the mountain that she'd died. That the little snowflake had melted... 

But she was more alive than she'd ever been, with more freedom than she'd ever dared hope. Even in the darkest days she'd had hope. And she had been saved, offered this chance at her own life. And usually she did with it as she wished, even if occasionally she still had to run... always running. 

Aiofe slowed herself down once she was on the road with the artisan's houses. She looked behind her quickly before she unpinned her long silver hair and carried on, walking now instead of running. She let her skirts fall as she slipped down an alleyway. Breathing hard, she had never been much of a runner. Part of the reason why she’d even ended up married was that she hadn’t been fast enough, and even then, her father had been forced to break one of her legs so she couldn’t flee from her groom.

Her walk took her along the bank of the river, and up a little winding path past a small bakery. Closed at this time of night which was a shame as she could have murdered a little cream cake. But soon she was opening the little white door that led to her lovely townhouse. Another gift from Rhys.

Once the door was closed behind her and locked Aiofe could breathe. She would sneak back out when the stars started to fall… she had already thought of a place she could go to. Everyone else would be on the balconies above the city, but Aiofe would watch the stars fall from the riverbank, watch them fall in the water and shimmer as they slipped down the little waterfalls. She wondered if they were running from something as she always seemed to be? 

Though It was lovely that the stars came to Aiofe one night a year… because she couldn’t fly to them. 


	7. Starfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starfall... the stars... they fall XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tamlin's PoV

It didn’t take long for Tamlin to pick up her scent in the garden, she was lovely, intoxicating. But even though he could smell her she was nowhere to be seen. But he wouldn’t give up yet, part of his issue was that he never gave up, but he didn’t think that she would mind. He just wanted to tell her that her singing was… otherworldly, it was surely a cauldron given gift. The way she’d wrapped her tongue around the syllables and told such a sad tale with precision. He’d never heard music that had got to him so much. It had almost been enough to make him want to pick up his fiddle and join in. Mix his music in with hers in an endless symphony… it made him sick to think he might never find her.

He followed the path around the fountain, her smell was faint but there… she smelled like a fresh crisp snowfall and tender peonies. Eventhough her scent was subtle it was all he could smell. He paid no attention to the roses, or the moon flowers. He ignored the shy little marigolds in the borders. Even the playing fountain was ignored as he hunted her. He walked carefully as if she were a deer who might frighten easy. As soon as she had finished her singing she had vanished into the night. He had every reason to think she was skittish. But he wanted one of those smiles so desperately. Almost like a little song bird who flew away the second you got too close…

Even if he was only allowed to bask in her glow from afar he still wanted too. Tamlin had never felt so enthralled, it was weird. The more her pursued her the more he wanted to keep his distance. He felt guilty for stalking her in the night like this. It was obvious she wanted to sneak away. But true to form he could not stop himself. Especially not when he stumbled upon her glittering shoes in the bush. He had an excuse now, a reason to talk to her. He picked them up and carried on his way down a little cobbled path. The shoes were honestly just what he would have expected, white with tiny little jewels on the heels. Like little snowflakes. He was sure she would want to be reunited with such a pair? Either way he had his excuse… something that didn’t make it look like he’d been following her too much.

He breathed in her scent again and a spike of worry drove its way into his heart. Her scent of petals and snow took a sharper tang, one mixed with her blood. His throat tightened as he dashed down the path, only to find a thorny rose bush with flecks of red on the leaves. He wasn’t so worried after that… Tamlin had always had a protective streak in him, he had been far too protective at times. Even to go as far as to do unintentional harm… he didn’t think he would ever have a life without regret. But for the time being he pushed all thoughts of Feyre from his head. There was little he could do to change that now…

Tamlin stooped down and brushed a gentle finger against one of the white roses before he stepped over the bush. In the moonlight they matched her hair perfectly… and that was the main reason he couldn’t bear to pick one to give to her. He had to leave them alive… growing. To pluck it felt awful to him. By the cauldron what manner of creature was this female? Beguiling, bewitching? Beautiful…

He followed the short little path and ended up in a part of Velaris he had only ever seen from above and frpm the far end. He was right in the middle of the Rainbow. But he knew where to go, he could smell her so much clearer now he was out of the way of all those other flowers. They hadn’t been near enough to hide her lovely scent but everything was clearer in the open fresh air.  

Tamlin still couldn’t figure out quite what he’d say when he found her. He had her shoes after all, maybe she would be the first to speak? Maybe she would gift him with a smile? For they were surely gifts and he treasured each one. Maybe he could ask her to dinner again? The small restaurant? He wouldn’t be going back home for a few days after Starfall… maybe she would agree? Or maybe she would remain as elusive as she was now.

He followed her trail past a small bakery and along the banks of the Sidra, the sky was pitch black by now, perfect for the starry spectacle that was about to happen, any second now. The entire City had gone silent, the music and dancing had ceased as thousands of souls all looked up to the sky and watched. Except for Tamlin, who’s eyes were on the woman he had just sighted, stood on the banks of the Sidra.

She had changed from her blue dress and was now wearing a pair of tight fitting cream pants with a loose white shirt tucked in. But he knew from the way he hair caught the wind that it was her. That and her scent. Her head was pointed to the sky and her smile was evident even from where Tamlin stood.

He grinned to himself as he walked over. “You forgot your shoes!” He called, chuckling as she spun around, her silver hair almost floating around her.

“I was wondering how long it would take you to find me.” She replied, words which only confused Tam a little more. She had been expecting him to come? As if sensing the confusion on his face she clarified. “I saw you watching me sing… “

“I wouldn’t call what you did mere singing…” Tam said, watching the soft blush creep up her ears at his compliment. Her blushing seemed to stand out more on her alabaster skin. She just shrugged though, a movement that felt almost too casual for a creature such as her. Tamlin held her shoes out to her and she took them with a shy little smirk.

“Awfully hard to run in heels.”

“Why were you running?”

“I’m always running….”

Tamlin tilted his head and looked her over again, always running. Her voice was lovely in his ears, he could hear the soft notes in it that made up her song. He had no idea how he hadn’t picked up on the subtle lilt when he’d first met her. Of course, he had been a little blinded by the fact that she was even talking to him initially, and then he had been blinded by her beauty. Even in a plain outfit with her dark makeup cleaned off she was truly magnificent.

“What could something as lovely as you have to run from?” Tam enquired.

“People who find me lovely usually.” She retorted with a wink, she didn’t miss a beat. Snappy and quick of wit. Tam hadn’t smiled so much in over a year.

“Anyway,” she said “Starfall’s about to begin.” She rolled her trousers halfway up her calves and walked to the bank and just sat and dangled her feet in the water. As Carefree as anything. For a few second Tamlin just watched her. How her neck curved as she looked to the skies… the way her little toes caused ripples on the otherwise perfectly still river. Then he just shook his head and kicked of his shoes before rolling up his own trousers, joining her at the river. He must have been the only High Lord to be enjoying Starfall from a damp riverbank. But he didn’t think he’d rather be anywhere else. Up in the big houses there would be toasting. All the High Lords pretending they didn’t want to claw each other to pieces. He much preferred it out here, where he could have some quiet and just watch the stars instead of watching his back. He looked up and waited, the first Starfall he’d been able to enjoy since he was a child on his father’s shoulders.

“I think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.” She murmured as the first star streaked across the sky setting it ablaze with colour, and lighting up the Sidra below it.

“It really is…” Tamlin agreed, but he wasn’t looking at the falling stars. Instead he was looking at her eyes, and the way the lights danced across them.


End file.
